After getting high on Pride & Prejudice, romance, love & marriage for the past 12 days almost, a gentle reminder to all the females that Mr. Darcy is a fictional character & here is the general opinion of males on marriage. A little something to bring us all back to the reality 😛
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question.. which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
-George W. Bush
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
“I’ve had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
A linguistic professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room retorted, “Yeah, right!”
This was actually said in court & is taken from a transcript
Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed autopsy did you check for a pulse?
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Lawyer: So it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Lawyer: How can you be so sure Doctor?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Doctor: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive & practicing law somewhere!